Loves Me, Loves Me Not: Perceived Romantic Partner’s Ambivalence Is Associated With Lower Personal and Relationship Well-Being

Romantic relationships can be rewarding and costly at the same time, making it no surprise that partners can often feel ambivalent (simultaneously positive and negative) feelings toward one another. Although research has shown that the individual who experiences ambivalence toward their romantic partner is likely to endure aversive effects, not much is known about how this ambivalence affects their partner, who is the target of the ambivalent feelings. To address this gap, we investigated how perceiving that a partner feels ambivalent toward oneself is associated with one’s own personal and relationship wellbeing and which mechanisms underlie these associations. We tested these relationships across three studies (total N = 1,135) with samples of individuals and romantic couples from the United States, the United Kingdom, and the Netherlands, employing cross-sectional and daily diary methodologies. The results showed that perceived partner ambivalence toward oneself is negatively associated with personal and relationship well-being because it is associated with a lack of predictability and understanding in the relationship.