No sex before marriage? Attitudes and experiences of young men and women from cultural communities in which sex and relationships before marriage are not allowed

We report how young migrant men and women stemming from cultural backgrounds in which romance and sex before marriage are not allowed, deal with this norm. The paper is based on interviews with 32 women and 23 men of different second-generation migrant origin in the Netherlands. The majority is of Muslim background, others are (Orthodox) Christian, Hindu or Jewish. The young people differ in how they negotiate the norm. All young women, except for the strictly religious ones, had had sexual relationships with young men, ranging from cuddling to heavy petting and penetrative sex. More than half of the young men claimed they would never marry a woman who was not a virgin. They also felt responsible for the reputation of their sisters, but a remarkable finding was that, contra the popular belief that young men enjoy more sexual liberties, they themselves too wanted to stay a virgin until marriage.